Thursday, April 28, 2011

God Exacts Galactic Revenge

Supernova Caused by Sins of Mankind, Gays

By Derek Hayes

SN 2011B (center of image)

The Higashi-Hiroshima Universities’ “KANATA” telescope recorded images in January of a powerful and destructive supernova, which, according to some, reveals the true consequences of man’s sinful actions. Researchers K. Itagaki and M. Tsuboi first observed Supernova SN 2011B during a peer into galaxy GCN 2655 some 81 million light years from Earth in the giraffe constellation Camelopardalis. The violent natural phenomenon allegedly occurred when a white dwarf star accreted enough matter from it’s massive binary companion star to reach critical density (2 x 109 g/cm3) and began fusing carbon and oxygen divergently, causing collapse followed by a massive explosion which reportedly destroyed its companion star and blasted trillions of tons of matter into a white-hot debris cloud.

The “KANATA” telescope that first identified SN 2011B

The meaning of this destructive force of nature is very clear according to Reverend Jack Carroll of the First Free Will Baptist Church in Bell City, MO. He claims the upcoming NYC Pride, an annual gay pride rally in New York City to be held this year on June 18th, is the impetus for God’s violent retort. “God is not happy with the actions of man in these dark times” the reverend told his congregation, which includes viewers of his weekly Sunday morning television broadcast. “He is making it abundantly clear that we need to repent of our ways, and return to the Cross of salvation. It’s clear that the gay agenda is trying to dissolve the American Christian family with violence, compulsory sodomy, misinformation, bigotry, and rallies. God is very angry because of this”. Carroll went on, “For years now we have been warning of severe consequences due to the gays and their flagrant sins. Now God has chosen to destroy an entire solar system with one of the most violent natural phenomena in the known
universe. We ignore God at our peril”.

            Other members of the clergy are joining Rev Carroll in efforts to ban the NYC Pride rally. The Christian counter movement, dubbed NYC Shame, is attempting to collect signatures in an effort to convince legislators in New York to ban the rally. Hopes are the ban will spread to other states where similar rallies are held each year. Pastor, co founder, and key organizer for NYC Shame Mark Pindergraff of the Nationalist Church of Christ based in Nashville, TN said in a statement included with the petition sent to pastors nationwide, “Hallelujah! The Lord has spoken! He has not minced words here, friends. We MUST stop this rally, and we MUST EXPEL THE GAYS from our great nation and bring us back to good standing with the Lord!!!...” [emphasis in the original]. So far, over two hundred churches have pledged support for the effort.

            While many pastors are signing on to try to have the rally banned for good, one pastor is taking a different approach to appeasing almighty God. The notorious pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka Kansas has decided to send an envoy to the Higashi-Hiroshima Observatory to picket later this month. According to Westboro Baptist’s website [], signs will include “God Destroys Binary Star Systems Because of Fags!” and “Thank God for Dead White Dwarf Stars!” No plans of counter protests have yet been reported.

            NASA and other U.S. organizations that study the stars have been largely quiet on the apparent relationship between the destruction of an entire solar system and the waywardness of mankind. However, Blake Endel, a  NASA researcher, said in his blog, “[T]he idea that a god superfluously destroyed a distant solar system millions of years ago because of a rally held this year is among the most ridiculous things myself and my colleagues have ever heard. …We all had a good laugh when we saw reports of this on the TV in the coffee room. …[W]e have all been too busy laughing to formulate a real response to this nonsense”.  Well k­­­­nown astrophysicist, author, and NOVA Science Now personality Neil deGrasse Tyson, when asked at a lecture about the correlation between SN 2011B and the NYC Pride rally, responded with nothing more than a flabbergasted and quizzical expression which lasted over 20 seconds. He then asked to hear the next question. Tyson later told reporters “What can you say to something like that? I mean, what can you say?!”

Graph showing the magnitude of God’s vengeance

            Meanwhile others in the political sphere don’t think NASA’s (or Tyson’s) making light of the situation is such a good idea. Rep. Michelle Bachman (R-MN) said to Gretchen Carlson on Fox & Friends when asked about NASA’s apparent lack of concern, “…you know, God flooded Sri Lanka, New Orleans, Australia, wrecked most of Japan with a massive earthquake followed by a tsunami and nuclear meltdown, and now He has obliterated an entire solar system in galaxy NGC 2655; How can we not be listening? And why are we still funding [NASA] when they aren’t taking these threats seriously? And why is Neil [deGrasse] Tyson still getting a paycheck?” “Good questions- important questions” responded Carlson, who then pledged to have pastors Carroll and Pindergraff on the program “as soon as we can get them here. These views are important and deserving of fair questioning”.  The two founders of NYC Shame are scheduled to be on Fox & Friends next Wednesday to plead their case to the American People. Representatives from NYC Pride will not be in attendance during the broadcast, nor will any representatives from the secular science community.

Derek Hayes
is an independent contributor for the Muskoachie Daily Holler

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